Thank you for this thoughtful reflection. You've hit on something profound: the stark difference between the historical Jesus and what mainstream American Christianity has become. Your point about Mark 6:14-44 is especially insightful - those two feasts perfectly illustrate the contrast between Jesus's vision of shared abundance and empire's obsession with power and control.

I'd encourage you to keep exploring the historical Jesus, particularly through scholars like Marcus Borg and John Dominic Crossan who help strip away centuries of theological baggage to reveal Jesus's radical message. And you're absolutely right - understanding Jesus should ultimately lead us to action, to creating the kind of beloved community he envisioned.

Living out Jesus's teachings means standing with the marginalized, challenging systems of oppression, and building alternatives to empire - just as he did. Keep questioning, keep seeking truth, and most importantly, keep putting that truth into action.